while i have been away from the dashboard, my in-box has been filled with some pretty interesting not.the.mom hate. it’s cool. i get it. you need a place to dump some of the stuff you’ve got overflowing from inside that place you hold all your unfavorable thoughts.
whoever you folks are, i don’t know you, or maybe i do (hence the anon button), but i can see that you’re angry about how i responded to that single mom the other day. i think it’s admirable that you’d stick up for your friend, but please, let’s be a little more creative than throwing down the old “you wouldn’t understand - you’re a step mom” card - as if using those magic words immediately dismisses any notion that my words carry weight. as if being a step-mom absolutely prohibits me from understanding the subtleties of parenting. how could i when i have no idea what it really means to be THE MOM?
i can let lots of the other things go, but on the step-mom dismissal i cannot keep quiet because I don’t understand the idea that motherhood is an object. as if it’s something to possess - finite, with edges.
the myth of the “perfect mother” hurts us all.
parenting is filled with intricacies and subtleties that shock and surprise at every turn and to pretend that any one of us is better at it than any other is not just stupid, it’s mean.
male, female, gay, straight, trans, biological, step, adopted, foster — why can’t we just identify as “family” in all its complicated, messy and wonderful forms?
no one way is better than any other; the absence of shared blood and ancestry doesn’t make these families -my little family- any less real.
and it doesn’t mean i don’t know what i’m talking about.
ouch. the last few days have really hurt. while, in the end, we came out $900-something dollars OVER on our inventory - of a ton of furniture and such - it was still a failure.
too much time spent researching and recounting things we wouldn’t have needed to had the store been properly tagged/prepared.
i made the mistake of trusting that people had a) done what was asked of them and b) were telling the truth when they said they knew how to do it and “of course” it was done.
somehow - nearly every mattress, lamp and piece of artwork in the store was mistagged.
holy mother of god! that was embarrassing.
on the bright side, it won’t happen again - but it won’t be anything anyone forgets anytime soon…or LETS me forget. least of all, myself.
in fact, after working 74 hours in 6 days, on my one day off until next wednesday … i couldn’t sleep because i kept having dreams of counting sofas and ugly bedding and someone saying, “failing to plan is planning to fail.”
i do not like being a disappointment.